I'm Starving!!!

And not because I have only eaten three bits of food in the last two days, no I am spiritually starved!!! I feel like there is this huge spiritual wall between me and God and knowing me I probably put it there and have just forgotten how to take it down. While my sister is in town visiting I just feel like I can't breathe in my own home anymore. Nothing is as it should be.

I have been booted off my own computer and banished to a corner to knit and listen to "if ye love me" composed by Philip Stopford. My body aches, my head hurts, I'm angry all the time and I am sad all the time. We were supposed to leave today for Maryland to visit my brother and we can't because something about not wanting to drive at night. Sleeping is a hassle because my sister likes to sleep with the heater on volcanic like temperatures and I like to sleep in cold rooms. And by golly if I bother the nice people I live next to by going and sleeping on their floor again I think they will kick me out!

I'd like to believe that all this will go away once I get my spiritual daily bread or my sister goes back to Alabama. Which ever one comes first. If I had my way I would just stay here and they could go live in Maryland for a while. Oh, how many times should I cry out to God before I finally feel him near me again. Why does he feel so far away. From the looks of my blog it seems like I've gone through an emotional roller coaster with God lately. I suppose that would properly explain it. One week I'm real tight with God, next week I don't know where He is at. Is He not a consistent God?...

:sigh: Just pray for me guys. That's all I can ask. I suppose that's all I need.

Song: pavarotti vesti la giubba