Haven't been around here in a while. Still whining though, and I've just found the perfect thing to whine about. Ha ha, you guys probably thought I would have learned to just be happy and not whine anymore, life is good right? hehe...you guys are funny.
So, on with the whining.
I finally figured it out, movies are the longest advertisements/music videos in the world! The whole movie you are introduced to new things like clothes, hair styles, cars, crazy awesome furniture arrangements, hot lookin people, cookie senses of humor, fun new ways of looking at things, romantic gestures that seems completely out of this world, indie and or cool summer pop numbers that you never or always hear, entertainment systems that are out of this world, and the list goes on. All the while you are sitting there mesmerized and completely taken by the whole effed up ordeal.
Then they hit you in the face with music at every scene so you know how to feel every five minutes, they tug at your heart strings to make you emotionally invested with people who aren't real and things that will never happen. All the while you are quietly wishing that it could be you on the back of a hippogryph with some hero-syndrome trouble seeking teenager or it would be you who has a guy set up a mob dance in grand central station to tell you you're the only exception or some isht like that. No no, never gonna happen...unless...
When was the last time you saw a hideous/over weight/completely homely person get the guy/girl in one of these movies? Never? Well dear fuglies and shut ins there is hope. IF you dress/act/look/speak/walk/eat/live like the humans depicted on the screen ALL YOUR DREAMS WILL COME TRUE!!! Men will fall at your feet and beg you to marry them and have their children, woman will literally rip their own clothes off for you. You will have sex in a barn and you will totally not be itchy afterwards and there will be no weird smells. Blimps and fireworks and all that other romantic isht will be done in your honor!
Your life will be forever awesome and joy shall be the only thing in your future. Friends and strangers will listen with completely interest at your love stories since they are still homely and haven't gotten on board on how to make their own lives as awesome as yours.
And don't worry about your kids, we have examples for them to follow as well, they will have healthy teenage relationships with vampires and emotionally unstable/almost socially mature teenage boys/girls in no time. Don't have time to watch these instructional movies all the time? Don't worry! Take a gander to the music that is playing today, music videos, and half an hour TV shows. They are easier to turn away from but they still get the message across.
You know what! Eff it! Eff it all! I don't think I'll be watching that many more movies that don't focus completely on explosions and a total lack of romantic interest. I'm so done!...who am I kidding, no one is done with this crap. Its been spoon fed to us since lady and the tramp. So much so that people actually seek out messed up relationships to have that taste of drama, that excitement.
Maybe I'm a bit too cynical because I've managed to "avoid" the whole romance scene. Maybe I'm bitter, that is a big possibility. All I know is that romantic comedies are the devil and I just word vomited a rant about it. Stupid movies...whatever. Whatever.
Song : David Roch - Skin & Bones
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