So Confused...

Its my fault, I shouldn't have clicked the image. I suppose I was looking to see of they had any legitimate reasons to be so adamant about their anger. All I saw was hate, hate and cruelty and a total lack of God in their heart.

Let me just start by saying this, I don't give a shit whether you are Republican or Democrat. It really doesn't matter, both won't be there in heaven. None of this matters! But if you don't understand love, if you don't understand caring for people even when they don't agree with you and they just plain outright spit in the face of your way of life. You must be able to love them anyway. What I saw today brought tears to my eyes. 

Facebook should ban these organizations as a hate crime. Barack Obama's dead fly, was the most hateful thing I've seen...ever. This isn't just about Barack Obama, this is about the Muslim people, this is about the "american" way of life, this is about pure ignorance and hateful hearts. Seeing a picture of people peacefully practicing their religion and to then see people boldly post "bomb them, kill them, they need to be strung up by a short rope, anyone who supports Islam isn't innocent, burn the Qur'an"...

Why does it have to be like this. Truly, the people who post these things call themselves God respecting people. I just don't understand. I have quite a few friends who don't agree with me politically, they don't all see eye to eye with me on ways of life but I still love them. I still await the day when that won't even be a part of a conversation. 

Being american means one thing, if you have the ability you can say/do/be/act/care for anything you want. Some say that makes this the greatest country on earth, I personally believe that it makes us susceptible to unwarranted cruelty towards things we don't understand nor wish to understand. We all live different lives, its almost impossible to always see from someone elses point of view.  For example, I can't understand someone who professes to love God and want to be like him but they take away programs that could help someone stay healthy, educated, and in a home. 

No one is perfect, there will always be ignorance, always be hatred. I just prefer to love others. I want everyone to get along...This earth is so crazy... america is so crazy (yes I know I'm not capitalizing it, you can't make me). I really can't wait for all this to be over and we can just go about loving others without a second thought. My heart really hurts, I'm disappointed in man kind today. Hoping in Christ.

Song: Peace Train by Cat Stevens

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLJcT_bXEvY&feature=fvst

Who's that girl?

You know how when you are a child and your mommy shows you pictures of yourself as a baby you look at it and ask "who's that?" and your mommy will promptly say "well that's you my beautiful baby, when you were little". If you are a very literal child, as are some of the ones I baby sit, you will respond "It doesn't look like me". Imagine that when you're 24 and you are seeing a picture of yourself from yesterday. That would best explain how I am feeling right now (and have felt since I was about nine). 

I don't know if it is some sense of misplaced idea of how I think I should look or I simply don't look in the mirror enough, either way I never seem to recognize myself whenever I see...well...me. Sure I know its me because I'm not a complete idiot nor am I completely insane (yet). That doesn't change the fact that the pictures I see and when I walk in front of a mirror, the eyes staring back at me just don't look like mine. My smile always seems off, my skin doesn't look like my own, I'm always so much fatter than I think I am (which is probably why I always bump into stuff, I don't account for my size), and my eyes always seem so empty. 

Am I crazy? Have I, as my British friend use to say, gone off? 

Even "nice" pictures of me where in I could say that the person in the picture looks reasonably pretty don't look like me. Or rather I look at it and almost immediately say "who's that girl". All this seems to scare me, I'm afraid that it will affect how I view myself if or when I ever get into a relationship...if or when. 

 I don't know, these are random thoughts of a sleepy girl who should be BANNED from thinking all together. Maybe if the republicans win this election Romney will ban thinking for women because he thinks its wrong. That would actually be helpful (sarcastic disclaimer, I am pro end of earth/coming of Jesus, not pro Romney). 

Whatever, I think I just need sleep. Even though, knowing my mind, I will probably continue to think of this well through the week. I still need to sleep it off for right now. This random rant is brought to you by fat! It'll change how you look (this is not just about my fat...although that part of me is crazy annoying...whatever) 

sleep. 

 Song: Livin' Like A Bug Ain't Easy by Brendon Small 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzNfXVkYi_Q

(Who the cuss is this?)