For the past...since last may...geez it has been a year...anyhoo since last year I have been moping around everywhere I go cause I never have enough money, to go to England. I never have enough food, to last me till I go to England. I never have enough work to do, to save up so I can go to England. My life, mind, and money revolved around getting to England. Everything else was a chore and further reminded me that I simply was not in England. Once upon a time that destination was Japan but that was a long time ago and Japan didn't house two...three of the most important people I ever met. At least that is what I thought.
This morning I had worship for the first time in a VERY long time. I prayed, told God I was going to spend this time with him, which I did. I listened to a hymn, then I listened to psalms 115 and then listened to some more songs about God, which I am still doing. Above all that I wept. I wept and I felt peace. I felt how much I was truly missing that most important person in my life. I love my friends like I will never love any one else but I miss and adore and love and cherish and worship and live for the love and time I spent with God. Crap, crying again. I love the love he has brought into my life, the people he has allowed me to meet. How he has changed me and shown me the errors in my life and how I can change and be better.
His love was shining through my friends so powerfully and I missed that so much, but looking past them I was missing my savior. I'm not sure how to keep this up, how to stay with him and his peace because I have so much clutter and earthly things that I also cling to. Its not going to be easy but I want what I had back in my life. It won't be the same because, like I said, he has changed me but I still want nothing more right now than to be in his presence like this again.
I was hesitant to write this blog but then I remembered that I want to share whenever God is in my life and I want to share when I feel his blessing. I hope this is a blessing to someone, I hope someone will read this and spend time with God again maybe after being away for a long time. He is still there, waiting for you to turn to him. It doesn't have to be a long time, what ever you can give, he wants to spend time with you. Just you and God.
I'm loving God's love right now. That about sums it up.
Song: Come to Jesus
By: Chris Rice
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1T-VfypD8j4
P.S. Special thanks to my lovely friend who God brought into my life that came by this morning simply to give me a hug. I love my pixie squirrel!
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