Who's that girl?

You know how when you are a child and your mommy shows you pictures of yourself as a baby you look at it and ask "who's that?" and your mommy will promptly say "well that's you my beautiful baby, when you were little". If you are a very literal child, as are some of the ones I baby sit, you will respond "It doesn't look like me". Imagine that when you're 24 and you are seeing a picture of yourself from yesterday. That would best explain how I am feeling right now (and have felt since I was about nine). 

I don't know if it is some sense of misplaced idea of how I think I should look or I simply don't look in the mirror enough, either way I never seem to recognize myself whenever I see...well...me. Sure I know its me because I'm not a complete idiot nor am I completely insane (yet). That doesn't change the fact that the pictures I see and when I walk in front of a mirror, the eyes staring back at me just don't look like mine. My smile always seems off, my skin doesn't look like my own, I'm always so much fatter than I think I am (which is probably why I always bump into stuff, I don't account for my size), and my eyes always seem so empty. 

Am I crazy? Have I, as my British friend use to say, gone off? 

Even "nice" pictures of me where in I could say that the person in the picture looks reasonably pretty don't look like me. Or rather I look at it and almost immediately say "who's that girl". All this seems to scare me, I'm afraid that it will affect how I view myself if or when I ever get into a relationship...if or when. 

 I don't know, these are random thoughts of a sleepy girl who should be BANNED from thinking all together. Maybe if the republicans win this election Romney will ban thinking for women because he thinks its wrong. That would actually be helpful (sarcastic disclaimer, I am pro end of earth/coming of Jesus, not pro Romney). 

Whatever, I think I just need sleep. Even though, knowing my mind, I will probably continue to think of this well through the week. I still need to sleep it off for right now. This random rant is brought to you by fat! It'll change how you look (this is not just about my fat...although that part of me is crazy annoying...whatever) 

sleep. 

 Song: Livin' Like A Bug Ain't Easy by Brendon Small 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzNfXVkYi_Q

(Who the cuss is this?)