Live by the Hook

Calling. Passion. Gift.

I never thought I had these things. I always loved anime, japan, playing dolls (well into my teens...), and drawing but I never thought I had a talent for anything that could be turned into a job. For the most part, I still don't. Passions are...a thing of mystery to me. The things that I have grown to like have proved to be things that aren't your every day job. I've grown to love knitting, crocheting, painting, drawing (some more, a bit awesomer than my childhood drawings), ceramics, sewing, clothes design, etc. artistic things. There is no desk job for these things where you are paid hourly to sit around doing them (if there is TELL ME!!! I want to go to there).

That being said, finding a job that I would like is kinda hard. Working with kids worked for a while because children are funny and I like playing with them and laughing at them and bossing them around. But I don't work there anymore...I have an associates in graphic design but I really don't care about graphic design and that is a competitive career field that involves loads of passion on the part of the designer. That passion is something I sorely lack. Sure I can do the work, I do do the work (lol dodo), but I lack the passion to make it a career. 

So here I am, with all my little crafts, being told left and right to start up a business of my own. To market my makings and sell them on etsy. To live off bags and dolls and what else other crafts I can concoct. Of course, from me, this is met with disregarding laughter and a complete lack of faith in myself. Enter me going to a temp agency to find me a job I will do but most likely will not feel satisfied by. There are people here to believe in me, believe that I can make my passion a salary for me. I want to believe that, an as a person who has grown up in poverty; I simply don't see it as possible...and that is how a person stays in poverty...

I don't know, its a lot to think about. I just finished crocheting a bag that I am kinda proud of. It is my own pattern and its lined and has pockets. I like pockets... then there are the dolls that I make...I have some other things I want to make too, so many projects that I dream about. Things I want to paint, draw, crochet, knit, make with ceramics, and design then sew then wear. There just don't seem to be enough hours in the day. I wish I could see how this would work, how it could become something more than just a hobby. That would be kinda magnificent.

Song: The Cave by Mumford and Sons 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tL_Ye0h5xEI

 Aren't they so cute? Chibi Desi, Jeadon the Jedi, and Princess Nazaria.