My...whatever...is all screwy...

Do you ever hear seven or eight voices talking in your head at the same time? Some wondering what to do, some putting you down, some recalling old memories and sayings, and some are trying to get you to get your life together. I hear these voices a lot when I am tired, when I am going to bed. I feel a turmoil and a tumbling in my heart..or my head really. It would seem that the heart is just an organ yet we give it so much power. We are to think with it, let it guide us, trust in it, love with it, and use it to pump blood. Busy little fella. 

I guess then that there is turmoil in my head. Or my spirit, or my body. I can't tell. All these voices and thoughts and feelings running about. Its hard to push past them and get down to what I really need to be doing. I need to do so much and I want so much for myself and I just don't see any of it happening. Remembering to take things one day at a time is quite hard to do when the next few days just seem impossible. If I remember correctly, whining is supposed to start disappearing from this little blog of mine. It'll be a process...apparently. 

All the voices, telling me where to go, most of the time contradicting each other. Breathing is weird, a strange tug with every breath. What is this? I should focus on my crafts. I have four dolls to finish and six owl hats to do. That should keep me and my mind busy for a while. Until I lay my head down to sleep. 

Today my sister told me that she feels sorry for me, apparently because I am without direction or purpose and without her ability to simply keep moving on. These are all things I already know I am struggling with, but for some reason...to hear her say that has really rattled me up inside. As if she is looking down on me, like I'm something to pity and throw spare change to. Its so strange how this is troubling me inside. I should sleep. My mind is going a mile a minute. I should sleep. 

Still don't have a new name for my blog...It'll come to me...

 Song: Imaginary by Evanescence

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQgfrjMXy_w