In the end, like now in life, we were always so very well taken care of. God would step in in one way or another. People who we had never met before would bring us food. Strangers would give us money that would be exactly what we needed. Loved ones would come in at the right time and take care of us with love and grace.
Somehow its easy to forget these moments of love and the times when God steps in and takes care of us. Because of my childhood, the fear of instability is crippling for me. Not having a safety net of finances scares me and brings on anxiety which brings on depression which leaves me lacking faith and cursing at God. In the end, He always takes care of me. Very real answers to financial prayers got answered these last few days and I know more trials are to come. These trials might be rough and I might slip in to one of my freak outs but I know that I will be taken care of.
I've been given such an amazing opportunity to be here in England. The possibility of coming back and going to school here has appeared. I've met so many amazing people and I've seen so many things that I've only ever dreamed of seeing. Tried some amazing Indian food and had the pleasure of trying crumpets with tea.
Life is amazing and I forget that so easily. I try to remember but with depression its hard to see the end of the storm when you're in it. Luckily I have so many people who love me and who take me aside and remind me of how amazing and wonderful life is. Thank you, everyone in my heart. Thank you for loving me and lifting me up and listening to me whine and all that goodness.
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| This picture and the one in the previous entry were taken in the same day, within hours of each other. |
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2 helpful comments:
When you've been tried in the fire of adversity, you often come out like pure gold. Those experiences have strengthened you and helped make you the unique person you are. From Beltsville, MD, to Miko's untimely death and beyond, these life experiences have released a sort of fearlessness, faith and strength I don't think would have been there without them.
When did we have no heat for the entire Winter?
I got side tracked and lost my train of thought (We often forget derail, sometimes...oooh, look and the shiny car!)
Anywho, I've come to understand that God ALLOWS those life experiences because He is working to rid us of the impurities that block His blessings. Just as the smith puts the gold in the hottest fire to burn all the impurities out (I used to compare Daniel and his boys as being tried in the Fire, too)... and all that's left is Pure Gold or a Pure Soul.
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