Hide & Come Find Me

When I was little I had gone to work with my mother, my sister and I got bored. We went through out the building going to other people's offices and taking their candy. One day I got separated from my sister and went into the filing room and hid in-between the shelves, I was really small back then. The whole time I was hiding I was giddy thinking of my mom and sister's face when they would find me. Then time went by, I was getting tired of hiding but I didn't move. My butt hurt and I was starting to get this thought in the back of my head that they weren't even looking for me. I started to think about how they would never find me. 


I felt that way today but on another level. Today I all but ran away from home, once again finding it preferable to run from my problems rather than face them head on. I came home after baby sitting, went to my room and promptly turned around and grabbed my bike and rode away. I didn't know where I was going at first. None of it made any sense. I just kept going till I ended up at my old house. Still having the key it wasn't a problem getting in. So here I am, five hours later still hiding. Wondering if I should go home. I REALLY don't want to go back home right now. And above all I just don't want to be found. 


Back in Maryland when I was younger I would randomly cry to my mother that I wanted to go home. I would cry this when we were in fact at the place one would normally call home. She would always coo at me and say that I was home, I was always so distraught that I would either be moved to tears or a mild state of depression. Right now I find myself wanting to go home but not to the place I should call home. Even in this house that I used to call home, I still want nothing more than to go home. I really wish I knew where home was. 


Emotionally things have been heavy lately...I either need to snap out of it or go into hibernation. I hope that eventually I can just get over what is wrong with me. Whatever it is, I'm quite sure I'm going about it all wrong and it is just making matters worst. 

Song: Sleep don't weep by Damien Rice
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=he6x-pMgTKo