Sigh...

I woke up this morning and my drool in the pillow was in the shape of lips, I had a dream about drinking for the first time, and I keep day dreaming about a guy randomly breaking up with his wife for absolutely no reason.

I'm lonely....fuu...

Song : Where are you by Zap Mama
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFAB-K0G6Ho

Couldn't get better

Life is so good, no...God is good. Life is a terrible circle of spiraling sin but God is good.

You know, as I back read my blog I can't help but see a journey that I went through. Its really quite amazing. Like when I was in high school and I would read my journals from when I was in middle school. I was such a nub, I can't help but laugh when I think about how trivial I acted while the world was being provided for me.

I'm feeling so blessed, not because I am getting material things recently but pushing that aside I see a beautiful perspective. I hope, no, I just know that if I pray about it I can carry this warm and fuzzy feeling over to my classes on Monday and the rest of the week. I tend to lose my temper in that class and I forget why I'm there and I hate it basically, but I really don't want that to be my college experience.

So from this week on I want to walk into class with a new perspective. I want to live, love, and let love. Sounds a bit hippieish but that's okay! Hippies are cool, they had the right idea...for the most part. All the free loveins and drugs was a bad idea but everything else was epic.

Song: How it Burned by Chapman
http://apps.facebook.com/ilike/artist/Chapman/track/How+It+Burned

Good Enough

I have faith problems, but I am getting better...I think.

I suppose, back when I didn't have experiences of God, it was hard to accept him but now that I am having day to day divine interventions of God taking care of me...it gets a little heavy...I'm not sure if that's the word I want to use...I don't know...

Life right now...I may run into a few bumps and slips but everything is working out on its own. I really feel like God is taking care of me and that I really don't have to worry. When things get too heavy he makes an escape route for me. I get tired and I feel like quitting but then by the time I feel like breaking its time to go to sleep and its all over till tomorrow. So I feel good...good enough..

The weekend is a haven. Although I have a ton of math homework I should get to...fuu...

Song : uuuh...I'm feeling a bit like Julia by the Beatles
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCspJhQ_H5A

I'm on my way...

Sadly...
I DON'T WANNA GO TO COLLEGE!! Gyaah!! >_<

Sigh...I just don't wanna have this huge change go on. Everyone says that college is just the natural next step. I DON'T WANNA!! That and getting my drivers license...goodness...I wish Jodi would just make me get that thing and just get it over with...I hate the thought of driving but I know I have to do it...I know college is the same thing but goodness, college and driving is very different....fuuuu...grrr...I don't know..I suppose all this is hitting me a lot today...like its really going to happen.

I just wanna get baptised and have God come the day before I start school...but alas, I believe I will be getting baptized on the 28th of November. whoot!washin...away...something or another. yay!!! No really, I'm excited. I just..grrr...I blame the Internet for making me want things now and then wanting them done and over with in the middle of everything.

I'm getting off topic...I think I will just gonna go to bed and sleep on everything.

Song : Send Me On My Way by Rusted Root

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDdokE1rAMw

Rainbowkardashian Darling

Rainbowkardashian is a very special pony. Anyone who was a girl and watched my little ponies as a child knows her as Rainbow Dash. I changed her name while playing ponies with the wonderfully creative child named Celeste (also known as pinky pie, her favorite pony). Not that I am a fan of the Kardashians but I do recognize their need for fabulosity and Rainbow Dash is all about fabulosity.

By now you are probably wondering where I am going with this. Well, when indulging my regressive escapism by playing Rainbowkardashian I jump around the room speaking with a british ascent and saying darling five times in a sentence. It always hits me that I hate the very thought of being a grown up. I think my prayer tonight will be to be blessed with the ability to keep my childish ways but still prosper in life with them.

I don't think it is so much of a peter pan complex which I had while I was in middle school and high school. It could very well be the ends of that complex in the progression to maturity against my will. Either way its no fun and I think the next time I watch Celeste, aka Pinky pie, I will play ponies forever!

Now heres a question for you! When was the last time you played dolls? (for any boy that might read this, you know you've played with some type of "action figure" how long ago was that?)

Song : Happy happy joy joy by ren and stimpy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DC-pIvNODU

Pinky pie and Rainbowkardashian