The mind is a strange and mysterious thing...I hate it...
I was so happy tonight, I was laughing and having fun with my friends! I was at bible study and I was enjoying myself, talking to people and being more outgoing than I am physically use to. All and all it was a good night! Gave me some time to think, get some tips on my future and my present. Give me a good feeling while I was leaving too.
The moment I got home my heart sank. I was filled with thoughts of how I am stuck in one place, how I am not moving forward as I wanted to. I want to go to college darn it!! I wanna go now! I know that I can't even move towards going to college yet because I am living here! I am here basically to keep to rent lower, mama says thats not true but it would be an annoying process if she were to watch Celeste and I was to just jump off to college on the berrien bus(which, I don't even think, goes out that far).
See, I watch my landlords daughter so that they don't have to send her to a daycare. Which is all fine and good, I love her and I love that family so much, I would do anything for them! Because I watch her, the rent is lower. But I know... until September when we have to move out, I won't be able to start college cause the days in which I watch Celeste are so irregular and they are from 1pm to 6pm every time.
Anyway, its just the wait till September that is really killing me! I hate waiting....hate hate hate it. But all shall be well! Happiness is just around the corner. Just 119 days till something great happens! Or doesn't happen...if it doesn't happen then there is spirit crushing sadness...and on a sooner note, I'm gonna wake up tomorrow! YAY!....at least I hope.... ^_^ we shall see!
Song: Jai ho by Pussycat Dolls
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