I was reading this very interesting manga about a girl who always looked to the stars for comfort, in her head they were always telling her that she was great and that she was doing her best and that it was amazing how well she was doing. In a way she needed that pick me up because no one else was telling her these things. Anyway, in the manga it was said that the stars only sparkle like that because of our atmosphere. If we went into space they would no longer sparkle, they would just be lights lost among all other lights.
After reading that I thought for a long time about what that meant to me. I've spent my whole life, gazing with star struck eyes at anyone of the Asian gene pool wishing I could be them. I even grew to hate my self and regret that I was even born...black. Every time I meet someone who is Asian I am so nervous and so scared that I can't even talk to them good enough to get to know them. I think that in my life time I have met over 20 Asians but have only become friends with 3. And even now I spend have my time around them making sure that I don't act like an idiot.
But its so pointless...to go your only life hating who you are. You don't get a second chance! You just don't and I would hate to spend the rest of my life hating myself because I wasn't born Japanese. I can't wake up tomorrow with new skin and hair and be living in harajuku. And I don't mean that starting now I will stop hating myself, no, this is a process just like that praying thing I'm working on. Its gonna take a while but I am working on it....doesn't mean I will stop loving Asians with all my heart. Even though I will acknowledge the fact that everyone does poop and everyone was made by the same God. They just happen to poop awesomely. ^_^ Just kidding.
Eww...yuck, these meatballs don't taste good anymore....sorry, eating while typing. Darn vegi food. I think I will just stick to killin cows.
Another manga I read, by the same mangaka as the last manga, had a wonderful part in it where one of the characters was seeing all the great qualities in others and couldn't find anything about himself that was special. A friend of his said that everyone is like rice balls. They look plain and they look around and everyone else has a special plum in their back. Different shapes and colors but you can't see your own because its on your back. She said that even now, someone might be feeling envious of something you don't recognize in yourself.
Anyway, I thought I would just share that. That mangaka always is very insightful and is able to grasp manga of peoples little humany quirks...if that makes any sense. Yeah....
Mangas:
Fruit baskets
Hoshi wa Utau
Music:
All is full of love by Bjork
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3 helpful comments:
What's a manga? I think it's very true that most people are wishing they were something or someone else, but God made you who you are for a reason.
I love that Bjork song, and I think we all struggle with wanting to be better. It's so hard not to compare ourselves to others.
As an artist, I'm constantly comparing my art to others', but it's like apples and oranges. You just can't compare it. There is no perfect example that is "ART".
I think what I've learned is that we can only be compared to Jesus-the one perfect example. It comforts me to know that no one can live up to that without help from Him. So, we're all in the same boat. Or at least the same stream.
^_^
@ Jodi - Mangas are japanese comic books. I spend most of my free time reading them...^_^;;
@ Rose - ummm I'm not so sure that me wanting to be japanese is me wanting to be better but I get what you are saying.
I totally understand about the artist thing! I crumple up so many drawings because of one mess up with drawing the hand or if one eye is bigger than the other or when I am coloring the picture on photoshop and the hair doesn't seem to shine like I want it to I just give up on it for a few days.
Its so easy to compare art to other art because there is always someone or something that looks better in someone's eyes.
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